


Then I Shall Die

by Em_Neutral



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Also the violence isn't hella graphic just mildly graphic, Am I writing a songfic in the year of our lord 2019???, F/M, yes - Freeform, yes I am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 00:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20434769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Em_Neutral/pseuds/Em_Neutral
Summary: You tell me this is a war now. I think it’s been a war for far longer than you care to admit.





	Then I Shall Die

**Get out your guns. Battle’s begun.**

We didn’t know it could get worse. This needs to stop. He needs to be stopped.

**Are you a saint or a sinner?**

You have a choice.  _ We  _ have a choice.

**If love’s a fight-**

And you choose wrong.

**Then I shall die-**

And I stand by you, of course I do.

**With my heart on a trigger.**

I’ll always stand by you.

**They say before you start a war-**

You tell me this is a war now. I think it’s been a war for far longer than you care to admit.

**You better know what you’re fighting for.**

You’re fighting for your city, for your friends, for what’s left of your family. 

I’m fighting for you. You’re the best reason I’ve ever had.

**You are all that I adore.**

You ask me if I’m with you on this. What I’m willing to risk to help you. Always. Everything. Anything for you.

**If love is what you need-**

I love you. I need you. You think you need me, but you don’t, and you never have. But you want me, you love me, and that’s more than enough.

**A soldier I will be.**

If I can help you, protect you, keep you safe, I’ll do anything. Please let me keep you safe.

**An angel with a shotgun.**

You face off against yet another akuma and you truly are a vision. The best fighter I know- and that’s saying something. But you look cold. This fight is different. They robbed you of your fire. I had hoped that wasn’t possible.

**Fighting til’ the wars won.**

But you march on. Almost mechanical. And you want me on the other side of the field but they’re ganging up on you and you aren’t retreating. You aren’t making the  _ smart  _ move, the  _ logical  _ move, and-

**You don’t care if heaven won’t take you back.**

They land a heavy hit. You fly backwards into a wall. You’ve flown backwards into lots of walls. Too many walls. It usually doesn’t phase you. But you aren’t standing up. Why aren’t you standing up?

**Throw away my faith-**

And I’m throwing myself at them, leaving my target to the others, nothing matters but you. Nothing but you. Never anything but you.

**Just to keep you safe-**

I want to fight them. I need to hurt them. But there’s too many, and I do what you would do. The  _ smart  _ move. The  _ logical  _ move. I get you out. Away from the battle. I’ll hurt them when you’re safe.

**You’re everything I have.**

An abandoned building. They won’t find us here. They focus on more populated areas.

**And you-**

Blink up at me. Blue eyes. Your nonsensical, genetically impossible blue eyes.

**Always want to live-**

I asked you, once, how you had blue eyes. You smiled like you had a secret.

**Not just survive.**

You said you just woke up one morning with them. That it was truly miraculous. 

Of course, now, I know what that means.

**Sometimes to win-**

You smile at me. You pass out. 

**You’ve got to sin-**

I have to do this, I’m sorry. You won’t like it. You’ll be furious with me. But this needs to happen. I remove your earrings.

**Doesn’t mean I’m not a believer.**

It’s worth it. Even if you never speak to me again. I need to keep you safe. You’re in no condition to fight.

**And Major Tom-**

I’m doing this for you, and for what’s left of your family. I made a promise to your father to protect you, years ago. And again, when I asked for his blessing. And again, a week ago, when it happened.

**Will sing along-**

He can’t lose his daughter too.

**They still say he’s a dreamer.**

He’s keeping the bakery open. Says he needs something to do. Why couldn’t your ‘thing to do’ be a bakery? But no.

**Before you start a war-**

You had to end this.

**Know what you’re fighting for-**

And you went about it the wrong way- not that I’m one to talk.

**Angel with a shotgun-**

And my hands are sticky with blood- how did I not notice the blood?

**Please, the war is won.**

And you’re coughing and your pulse is slowing and, please, oh god, no-

**Please, just to keep you safe-**

Anything, please, I’ll do anything, please, And I’m crying and you open your eyes and you smile my favorite smile and ask me if we won.

**You are everything I have.**

I feel my mouth move, my lips forming sounds, saying words I don’t mean.

“We won, Angel.”

I’ve never lied to you before. It tastes like acid.

You close your eyes. You don’t open them again.

Tikki is screaming about the earrings. About the healing effects. 

Oh god.

No.

Nononononononononono-

**And you always wanted to live-**

Please! Be angry at me, yell at me, ignore me! Smile again, laugh again, be happy again,  _ please! _

You have so much left to do! You are so excited for the wedding! I’m so excited for the wedding!  _ We  _ are so excited! You’ve spent so much time making it just so and  _ I love you, please _ -

**Please, just survive**

Please, I can’t have killed you. I didn’t know this would happen. I just wanted you out of the fight! Just for a little while! Just while you recovered, please recover,  _ please. _

**Please, don’t hide your wings tonight.**

Please. I need to put in the earrings. I can fix this. I can cast the miraculous cure, right? Right? Tikki is saying something but I’m not listening and you are lying there bloody and broken and I shove the earrings through my ears and scream because it hurts but nowhere near as much as losing you hurts and-

The transformation won’t take. Tikki shakes her head sadly. She can’t merge with me. She’s crying. She wishes she could. She can’t.

**You were all that I adored-**

Your heart has stopped. I don’t know how long it’s been.

**Please, love, you’re what I need-**

You won’t get up and open your eyes. You won’t walk down the aisle and kiss me. We won’t have kids or dogs or a hamster or anything. We won’t have you.

I think I understand Tom needing something to do.

I carefully lift you, and tear my eyes away from the face that is no longer yours.

Earrings dangle from my bloody ears, tears marking my face like a warning. Your limp body in my arms.

My gaze lands on the giant butterfly sigil hovering over Paris.

I need something to do.

So I’ll do the only thing I can do.

**A soldier I will be.**

Fight.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, lovelies!! I hope you enjoyed it!! The song is 'Angel With A Shotgun' by The Cab  
<3333


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